tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64564253102137065862024-03-12T21:58:20.815-04:00Working with BipolarCatherinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13273770236305788786noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456425310213706586.post-82082630992132972322024-01-31T18:42:00.001-05:002024-01-31T18:42:32.857-05:00Ma maladie invisible <div><img id="id_39b7_97a0_e30_93e6" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/d/1oIL7g4uaMo4VmKscxsdEEaKBQ26h8OhR" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 392px; height: auto;"><br><br><br></div><div><br></div>Être bipolaire c’est ma maladie invisible. En me regardant, ça se peut que tu doutes même pas que mon cerveau est capable de me donner toute l’énergie du monde et, que deux semaines plus tard, j’ai de la misère à faire les choses que j’aime, à me lever et parfois même à fonctionner tout court.<div><br></div><div>Je me rappelle quand j’ai eue mon diagnostic, j’avais tout juste 23 ans, et je venais de faire un épisode de manie. Je me rappelle du médecin qui m’a dit calmement: Mlle Fortin, vous venez de faire un épisode de manie, vous êtes bipolaire. </div><div><br></div><div>Dépressive majeure, trouble d’anxiété généralisé, ça je pouvais l’accepter, mais pas bipolaire. Mon monde s’est effondré. Je m’imaginais que la vie était une piste de course et que je commencerais toujours 100 mètres en arrière de tout le monde.</div><div><br></div><div>Aujourd’hui, 10 ans plus tard, j’accepte ma maladie. Elle ne me défini plus comme avant. Je suis une personne à part entière et être bipolaire, c’est tellement une petite partie de moi. </div><div><br></div><div>Oui, je trouve ça difficile les hauts et les bas. Saviez-vous que même médicamenté, on ressent quand même ces différences d’énergie? Par exemple, aujourd’hui, je me suis levée et j’étais fatiguée, j’étais plus négative et j’ai même pleuré parce que je me sentais pas bien dans ma peau. Pourtant, la journée d’avant, j’étais super heureuse et j’étais pleine d’énergie…</div><div><br></div><div>J’ai décidé de recommencé mon blog, car je veux prouver à moi-même et aux autres qu’être bipolaire ce n’est pas tabou. Je souhaite raconter mon histoire. Je suis partie de loin et j’en suis fière. </div><div><br></div>Catherinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13273770236305788786noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456425310213706586.post-10721934258833364752018-09-14T23:18:00.001-04:002019-04-28T09:11:27.630-04:00Vulnerability <div>
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So many of us are vulnerable. Even if society tells us that it’s important to be strong and feel empowered, being vulnerable is okay.<br />
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It’s okay not to have control over your emotions. Not to have control over events. It’s okay not to always feel composed.</div>
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I believe in embracing my emotions, even the ugly ones.</div>
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At the moment, I’m scared of getting my hours cut next summer. I’m scared of getting replaced.<br />
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There’s an intern that arrived at my job and the staff and the director love her. I was an intern too and got hired afterwards. The same situation might apply to her.</div>
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The difference between her and I is that I’ll only get my diploma in May while she will get hers in December and thus have a more permanent position. It’s as if I were late in the race. Because of this, there is a high possibility of me getting part time hours instead of the full time job I enjoy at the moment.</div>
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All this will possibly happen next summer. I know it’s terribly far away, but I’m afraid of losing something I love. It also might not happen. The final decision comes to the director and I know she will decide what is most fair and appropriate for the workplace.</div>
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I see this girl everyday and it comes up in our conversations that she wants to follow in my footsteps and get a job at my workplace. I can’t take it as a compliment somehow. I take it as her overstepping. </div>
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This is why I feel vulnerable. I don’t feel as competent as her all of a sudden. I feel like I’m working so hard just to be stepped on. I’m harsh with myself. </div>
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I’m vulnerable.</div>
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And, like I said. That’s okay. It’s more than fine to feel inadequate.</div>
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Accepting my vulnerability is helping me heal from feeling unwanted.</div>
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I try to talk to myself and understand my emotions.</div>
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I say to myself: “I feel vulnerable because I feel like my efforts don’t mean anything anymore.”</div>
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I try to rationalize my thoughts as much as I can.</div>
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But most of all I repeat that same cliché, we hear over and over again.</div>
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“It’s okay, not to be okay.”</div>
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I don’t need to feel empowered at the moment. To show that I am above all this and that I am strong. That would be lying to myself. </div>
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I am vulnerable, and that’s that. </div>
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Catherinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13273770236305788786noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456425310213706586.post-26342935833401322162018-08-18T09:09:00.001-04:002019-06-09T11:56:29.522-04:00Osheaga 2018<div>
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And I was one of them.<br>
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My friend and I bought the tickets on a whim. We were on a terrasse, having a beer, and one of us said: “I’ve always wanted to go to Osheaga”. We both thought, well, why not?<br>
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And so, we were able to see performances from our favourite and new artists.</div>
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But it was hot. IT WAS HOT. Like, 40 degrees Celsius hot. </div>
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So hot that the lines to fill up water bottles were longer than the lines to get drinks.</div>
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Performances we saw were from artists Lauv, Dua Lipa, Post Malone, James Bay and Florence and the Machine. </div>
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We also walked around, went on the Ferris wheel and got freebies.</div>
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Lauv has cutesy songs to wave your hands to. I like his songs so much because of that first love and first heartbreak feel you could get from them.</div>
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Dua Lipa’s performance was so much fun to watch. She has so much energy when she sings and dances around the stage. She also puts the same amount of emotion in songs that are more mellow. This song was a favourite of mine. </div>
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James Bay. Don’t get me wrong I love his lyrics and I love his songs and he is amazing live. It’s just that it was so hot and he had the sun in his face the whole performance that I think it affected his singing and playing. He looked tired and he looked like he wanted to get this over with. </div>
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My favourite was Post Malone! This guy is amazing! He seemed so real on stage and sang with a lot of heart. I can’t stop listening to his latest album. I found a video of his Osheaga performance on YouTube:</div>
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I’ll never forget this day and I hope to return soon.</div>
Catherinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13273770236305788786noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456425310213706586.post-7380228944602196102018-08-02T08:28:00.001-04:002019-04-28T09:12:05.782-04:00The Scare of Underperforming <div>
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N.B.: This was written a week after my salary increase. I just never got around to posting it.<br />
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As some of you may know, I got a salary increase. I did not ask for it. It was a merit-based increase. I was told that I went above and beyond my required tasks.<br />
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I was ecstatic.</div>
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However, right after the increase, I got scared. I was scared of underperforming. I was scared that I wasn’t good enough for my new position.</div>
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And... I started making stupid mistakes.<br />
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I forgot to do simple things I always did before. I felt that I regressed because of my fear of underperforming.</div>
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As I am writing this, I’m on my way to work. I feel so anxious that I’m starting to feel slightly nauseous. I want to do well today but I always make a mistake.</div>
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The worst part is that I think by making these small mistakes, I’ll be fired. Irrational, right?</div>
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Back to the present.</div>
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I still make mistakes but I’m trying to let go. What’s hardest is not to compare myself to other newcomers at my job.</div>
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I know I’m good at my job. My contract was even extended! I’m just still insecure. </div>
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Feeling overwhelmed is completely fine. Acknowledging that you have insecurities is an important first step. Understanding where the insecurities come from and then doing something about it are the next steps. </div>
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This time I let my feelings pass. I put a band-aid on my emotions, you might say. I didn’t face my demons and I’ll probably encounter them again.</div>
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It’s time I find solutions next time.</div>
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Catherinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13273770236305788786noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456425310213706586.post-82353179767343592522018-06-26T07:42:00.001-04:002019-04-28T09:12:39.842-04:00St-Jean 2018<div>
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St-Jean 2018. Just woah. It's hard to describe all the emotions that I went through in a single night.<br />
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La St-Jean-Baptiste or La Fête Nationale du Québec has always been an important part of my life. La St-Jean is a day to celebrate Québec’s French culture and language.<br />
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Two years I reconnected with my College friends that I hadn't seen for 9 years! We went to the show in downtown Montreal. The atmosphere was electric.<br />
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The year after, I spent the day with my boyfriend and one of my best friends at an attraction parc. Afterwards, we had a soirée/party among friends. I got a bit upset that year but... let's not talk about that.<br />
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This year was definitely the best. It might be the best in my life, to be honest.<br />
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It started out in a relaxed way sitting and waiting for the rain to stop under our umbrellas. As the evening progressed we went closer and closer to the center stage.<br />
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Bands that we liked started playing and we were right near the barriers. I think the only time I've been this close to performers was when I was working backstage for Freshmen Week in University.<br />
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However, it rained and rained and rained. This made the set up between bands even slower and the wait was long. I was looking forward to seeing Loco Locass. My all-time favourite Québécois band.<br />
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Meanwhile, I discovered an amazing artist: La Bronze. She did an Arabic rendition of a Stromae song "Formidable". I was blown away.<br />
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And then... </div>
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Loco Locass. The energy was incredible. It started to rain but no one cared. Everyone jumped and threw their arms in the air. Flags flapped in the wind. The last time I saw them was in 2012 during the protests against the tuition hike. If you haven't read the post. <a href="https://workingwithbipolar.blogspot.com/2018/03/2012-student-protest.html" target="_blank">Click here.</a><br />
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They have always been a powerful band for me.</div>
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I’m half Québécoise and I have lived in the province most of my life. It was so engaging to sing with people who had such a big love for Québec.</div>
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I truly felt among my people.</div>
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I wrote this in an <a href="https://draft.blogger.com/instagram.com/simplycatherinee" id="id_8872_2b76_4696_8d19">Instagram post</a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">Je suis fière de mes racines. Je suis fière d’être du Québec, de vivre au Québec. Je suis fière de ma langue. Je suis fière de ma nation et de mon peuple. Bonne St-Jean! .</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">I’m proud of my roots. I’m proud to be from Québec, to live in Québec. I’m proud to speak French even though some say it’s a dying language in Canada. Yes, I’m proud of my nation. Bonne St-Jean!</span></div>
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I’ll always remember this St-Jean.</div>
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I want to finish with a beautiful video that pictures shots of my nation. The song is Hymne à Québec by Loco Locass. </div>
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Catherinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13273770236305788786noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456425310213706586.post-3109654254417165102018-06-07T14:25:00.001-04:002019-04-28T09:12:53.075-04:00Vacation Relaxation<div>
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Vacations can be stressful for me. I like everything to be planned. Absolutely everything. I make myself an itinerary to make sure I do everything everything on my list.<br />
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Most of the time, I get it all done and feel satisfied with the outcome but in no way do I come back to work relaxed enough.<br />
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This year, my vacation was mainly for appointments. I think I must have had an appointment or a blood test every other day.<br />
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As the weekend was approaching, I contacted a friend and ask if she would like to see the Tulip Festival in Ottawa. I thought about doing a group thing first but I realized how busy or broke my other friends were.</div>
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My friend said yes! </div>
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We woke up early and drove to Ottawa listening to a roadtrip playlist I had assembled the day before, especially for this occasion.</div>
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When we arrived, we realized we had parked 45 minutes walking distance from the tulip gardens. My friend had the idea to rent bikes. We rode along the Rideau Canal and took in the fresh smell of lilacs. </div>
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The tulips were beautiful! I always believe tulips to be graceful and seeing all those different colours made me so happy! </div>
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We were hungry but didn’t want to spoil our lunch. Besides 5$ hotdogs, no thank you. We ended purchasing smoothies and drank them out of pineapple and watermelon shells. Yum! </div>
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Things were done so spontaneously and I loved it! I think my friend appreciated it too.</div>
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Afterwards, I brought my friend to a diner I ate at during university: Zak’s Diner. Some excellent food for a great price. However, it seems that in the 4 years I had last been in Ottawa, the diner had gained tremendous popularity... who knew? We were too hungry and settled on their affiliated cantina. Food was great and the drinks we chose were flavourful as well. </div>
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We walked around Byward Market. Honestly, it’s not that amazing. It’s mostly a tourist-trap. </div>
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<img alt="" id="id_f807_5a56_d683_66ac" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-geZ321Lx8jQ/Wxl75a3vrFI/AAAAAAAABEM/gIIA8Tc3bhEki4VBOSFOz6sCJo4MPMD-wCHMYCw/s1600/%255BUNSET%255D" style="height: auto; width: 1600px;" title="" tooltip="" /><br />
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We decided to go to a bookstore: Chapters. Our idea was to get a bargain book and read it on the Parliament hill.</div>
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It was a good time to relax and soak in the sun with a good book. It’s not every time I get to read on the Parliament Hill.</div>
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Afterwards, we went to the National Gallery of Fine Arts to see the Impressionist exhibition. </div>
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My friend suggested we just see that. I felt hesitant at first because I wanted to get as much as I could from my ticket. I decided to go with the flow. </div>
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<img alt="" id="id_46c5_689a_3657_647b" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-TyiZvBx5_6M/Wxl7AMP09pI/AAAAAAAABDs/AZLosKP_81UjuBab8yk2p5jkP0dXK3iigCHMYCw/s1600/%255BUNSET%255D" style="height: auto; width: 1600px;" title="" tooltip="" /><br />
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I believe that really taking time to enjoy one thing is better than squeezing a lot of things in a day. </div>
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So what if you can’t visit the whole city? I’ve learned through this trip that the most important thing is living in the present — enjoying the present. </div>
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What type of person are you?</div>
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Do you like to get most of your trip?</div>
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Do you like to enjoy just a few things at your own rhythm? </div>
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Let me know in the comments down below! </div>
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Catherinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13273770236305788786noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456425310213706586.post-35490202399199314622018-06-02T09:17:00.001-04:002019-04-28T09:13:13.394-04:00Routines and Plans<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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During my teenage years, I attended a Day Hospital. At the Day Hospital, I did schoolwork, did sports and attended therapy groups. One of the therapy groups given revolved around cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT).<br />
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We learned something that has helped me ever since.<br />
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Routine.</div>
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Sticking to a routine really helps me. It helps me organize my day. It helps me get rid of anxiety because I know approximately what is happening next.</div>
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I feel secure adhering to a routine.<br />
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My relationships are better. My grades are better. I feel better.</div>
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However, not everyone understands my necessity of a routine. To be honest, I have some loved ones that get annoyed when I try to plan things in advance.</div>
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If there is a big disturbance to my routine, I panic. </div>
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When someone is not reliable and tells me I’ll call you at, for example 4 PM, and doesn’t answer until 5:30 PM, I freak out! </div>
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So many things go through my mind! Did I do something? Did he/she forget about me? Are the plans cancelled? Will I be alone tonight?</div>
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It doesn’t stop.<br />
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Here's a little anecdote.<br />
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When I go out with my boyfriend our routine is:<br />
1. Call the day before we meet up to schedule a calling time the day of.<br />
2. Call at the specific time the day of.<br />
3. Plan pick-up time.<br />
4. Decide where we go.<br />
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But one weekend, I called my boyfriend planning to meet the next day as per our routine. We discussed he would call at 4PM (like in my example) to arrange a pick up. I prepared everything I wanted to do beforehand.<br />
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However, I really really wanted to go out of the house in the morning but thought I couldn't. I believed that I might miss his call and not be able to see him at all. I thought, this is not what was planned. I can't do it. Too bad for me.<br />
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I tried calling my boyfriend earlier but no answer. I was on standby.<br />
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And I was panicking.<br />
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I was getting more and more upset because I couldn't control the situation. I was upset with myself.<br />
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I thought: "Why didn't I make sure of my plans?" and "Why did I feel the need to change our routine?"<br />
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He eventually answered earlier and was real nice to me considering the 12 calls I had left him.<br />
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Things did not go according to plan. We didn't stick to our routine. But we had a nice date.<br />
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It comes to show that I need to learn to let go. I need to learn that days don’t have to be organized minute by minute. </div>
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Which leads to reflect what should stay in my routine and what do I need to let go of?</div>
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Still working on that one...</div>
Catherinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13273770236305788786noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456425310213706586.post-11808815338676639022018-05-11T11:43:00.001-04:002019-04-28T09:13:41.060-04:00Negative Nancy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Let's face it. I am a Negative Nancy. I am able to turn any situation negatively. About a month ago, my boyfriend told me about this great restaurant he had been to. He wasn't even able to tell me how the food was delicious and what he had chosen to eat that I started ranting.<br />
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I told him about the girl who worked there who I thought was a superficial attention-seeker (when I did get to know her, I realized how mistaken I was). I told him how I did not like her and all the instances she had hurt me. Side note: I talked to my sister about it and she said the same thing about not wanting to eat there.</div>
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He stopped me there.<br />
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He said: "I'm calling you to say that I've had this amazing meal and you're just... GOSSIPING?" </div>
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Instead of taking the plunge and trying out a new restaurant, I became negative because of one person I did not like. </div>
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I turned what could have been a nice dinner into a rant of everything she did to me. I made it all about myself. </div>
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I don’t recall what we did instead but it had nothing to do with amazing food.</div>
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I’m trying to be more positive, I am.</div>
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Somethings that have been helping me are:</div>
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- Stop myself and reflect when I say “I don’t like” or “I don’t want”. </div>
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- Wake up to a positive quote </div>
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- Write down 3 things that were positive during the day.</div>
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Do you have any ideas to stay positive? </div>
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Catherinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13273770236305788786noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456425310213706586.post-21921254532077238792018-05-08T08:10:00.001-04:002019-04-28T09:13:52.658-04:00Self-care. Self-love.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I’ve been feeling down in the dumps lately. In a previous post, I mentioned how hard it is for me to be held back. I realize I’m being redundant here but bear with me.<br />
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I decided to take matters into my own hands. I decided to take care of myself.</div>
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Caring for yourself comes through many different forms. Somethings work for others while some don’t. </div>
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To get you inspired here’s what works for me.<br />
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1. Take a shower.</div>
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2. Take a long, nice and bubbly bath.</div>
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3. Have a pamper session. </div>
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5. Have a nice cup of tea or coffee.</div>
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6. Do some journaling.</div>
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7. Meditate.</div>
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8. Stretch.</div>
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9. Dance to some music.</div>
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10. Lay down and listen to music.</div>
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11. Paint, draw or do some arts and crafts.</div>
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12. Watch a movie at home or go to the cinema.</div>
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13. Watch a comedy show.</div>
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14. Get an ice cream.</div>
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15. Eat your favourite food.</div>
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16. Try out a new recipe.</div>
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17. Try out a new smoothie.</div>
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18. Do some biking around the neighbourhood.</div>
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19. Lie down on the grass and soak up the sun.</div>
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20. Take a walk and discover new places. </div>
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21. Take pictures and edit them.</div>
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and my favourite...</div>
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22. Read a book.</div>
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Hope one of these lift your spirit and make a difficult day into a lovely one!</div>
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Love yourself and take care!</div>
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Catherinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13273770236305788786noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456425310213706586.post-43995211542391248152018-04-30T07:46:00.004-04:002024-01-21T21:34:06.406-05:00Ups and Downs<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Ups and downs. Everyone goes through them, right? <div><br />
I can experience major mood swings in a single day.<br />
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My day can start marvellously with so much energy and I can feel ready to conquer the world. And then, oops, one bad thing happens and it all goes downhill from there.<br />
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Take, for instance, a few days ago, when I was helping my friend move out. I was all pepped out in the morning. I did some reading, I caught up on some school work and I actually ate breakfast!<br />
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Helping one of my best friends move out was awesome! It was some great exercise and just pleasant in general. I'm so happy what's to come for her in this new life decision. Oh, and the apartment is gorgeous!<br />
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The thing is, I was supposed to meet up with my boyfriend afterwards and it didn't happen. We had discussed previously that it was a possibility we couldn't meet. However, I was really set up on seeing him. I called him when everything was over and he said he had made plans to watch the hockey game with a friend. Great... I exploded, became furious and blamed him for choosing hockey over me.<br />
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I cried in the metro the second time that week. It is, honestly, awkward and an embarrassing thing to do. On another tangent, why should it be? Why do I need to feel pressure to be composed all the time?<br />
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Back to my story.<br />
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You can imagine, after that, that I had no intention of seeing him the next day. So, I called and cancelled, stating he had hurt me by "neglecting" me.<br />
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I came home and cried for an hour.<br />
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Can you see how disparate my mood was between the morning and the evening of that same day?<br />
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I've come across a few tips to regulate my mood swings. I think they are applicable to anyone, bipolar or not.<br />
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- Keep a journal of your moods.<br />
- Notice what time of day you feel more energized or down.<br />
- Write down your triggers. What made you happy? angry? sad?<br />
- Write down how many hours you slept the night before? It can give you a good idea if you might have been more vulnerable due to lack of sleep.<br />
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- When you start to feel overwhelmed, stop what you're doing. Do something you like instead, even if it is just for a few minutes.<br />
- When you're in a disagreement, stop talking to that person. Tell them: "It would be better to discuss at a later time because I don't want to say things I'll regret."<br />
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- Have a good cry. It's okay.<br />
- Scream in your pillow. Trust me, it works and everyone does it.<br />
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and.<br />
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Breathe.<br />
<br /></div>Catherinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13273770236305788786noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456425310213706586.post-60397803198775106412018-03-26T06:54:00.003-04:002024-01-21T21:34:57.969-05:00Sorority<br />
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Unbeknownst to you, I was a part of two sororities that shall remain nameless.<br />
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When I first started studying in Ottawa, I wanted to fit in. Starting off in Political Science classes with around 75 students was overbearing and made it hard for me to make friends.<br />
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I went to the quad during Frosh Week, and saw Fraternities and Sororities tabled around. I had an image of wanting to be in one particular sorority that I had researched before coming to Ottawa. I rushed it (attended activities and informal gatherings to get to know the sisters). I was then invited to the Pref Party (this is where sisters get to know if you will be a good fit). I wasn’t able to attend and didn’t get in. I actually rushed for them twice. I did not get in the second time either because it was my mother’s birthday and I was celebrating it with my family in Montreal. The sisters told me it didn’t matter if I couldn’t attend the Pref Party. I was later told that the sisters took the decision of who got in right after the Pref Party. This is probably a big reason why I didn’t get in.<br />
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Meanwhile, I made two friends. They weren’t always available. I wanted to be a part of something like I had been in Cégep (University Prep? We have a different schooling system in Québec) and being in a Sorority seemed like a good idea. </div>
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After not getting in the first Sorority, I rushed for an International Sorority. Their philosophy and the way they perceived sisterhood really resonated within me. I have many good memories from this Sorority. I felt like I was doing something good on campus. We participated in and organized philanthropy activities. We got to know other Fraternities and Sororities in a non-party way. We had high standards, we loved each other and we were classy.</div>
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However, I became depressed. </div>
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School wasn't going too well. I started skipping classes and spending days in bed. My roommate had no idea this was happening because she was away on a trip. </div>
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I stopped going to Chapter. Chapter is the weekly meeting you have with your sisterhood to discuss official business. I did not attend and got fined 10$ each time. I also lost financial aid because I didn't give a payment on time.</div>
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So much for sisterhood, right?</div>
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I can't say that no one reached out to see if I was truly okay. One sister asked me a few times. I believe her concern was genuine.</div>
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I moved to Montreal and did not transfer Chapters because Montreal didn't have one. I did have to give back my letters (any shirt/sweatshirt with the Sorority's greek letters) and my pin. I understand that I couldn't keep them because I was no longer part of the organization, but those items cost around 300$ all together. </div>
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All I wanted was to be part of a group of women who would be there for each other. </div>
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Guess that didn't happen...</div>
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My experience taught me that Sororities aren't for everyone. I just didn't fit in. I tried so hard to, but turns out it wasn't for me. During my most painful moments, when I needed my sisters, I was ignored. I don't think any of it was done on purpose. Maybe, they never had a sister with a mental illness. </div>
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I kept contact with one sister. She helped me a lot through hard times. When I talked to her again, after all this debacle, she apologized for how things ended. She also apologized that I was treated unfairly. </div>
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Catherinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13273770236305788786noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456425310213706586.post-58499316970059572512018-03-11T19:19:00.001-04:002019-04-28T09:15:08.216-04:00 2012: Student Protest<div>
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2012. The year that proved to me that students can change the face of politics.<br />
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It all started in 2007. It was my first year of College. I got involved in my student association and became Club's Coordinator. Until then, I had been living in my happy bubble. My parents were struggling financially but they were paying for my tuition and all of my textbooks. I didn't realize how lucky I was...<br />
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Slowly but surely, I came to know how the Canadian government was spending more money on its armed forces than on its population's education. I couldn't understand why educating future leaders that could potentially change the world in any field was any less important. </div>
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I started helping stage protests. I picketed the school when our General Assembly voted to strike. All this because I believed in free if not accessible education for all.</div>
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And then came 2012, the biggest student protest in the history of Quebec and of Canada. It was also the longest. It began the 13th of February 2012 and ended the 7th of September 2012.<br />
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Why was there a protest? The government of Quebec had decided to increase the tuition 325$ over 3 years for a total of 1625$. You might say, Quebec has the lowest tuition in Canada caping at around 3500$ per year with the rest of the country at 7500$ in average.</div>
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Yes, but... We fought for that. Every time an increase was announced we fought. Sometimes, it worked. Sometimes, it didn't. However, we fought because we believed everyone should have access to education. </div>
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Students from across the province voted to strike. Some voted for a day and others for weeks until the government would back down. At the height of the student strike, on March 22nd 2012, 200 000 people marched in downtown Montreal. At this point, a quarter million of students in Quebec had voted to strike. </div>
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There started to be nightly protests that turned to violence. I remember being terrorized running away from policemen all clad in anti-riot gear. I was running away with some friends as we heard flash-bang grenades not far from us. I could barely breathe or see through the smoke bombs thrown at us but I kept coming back to protest. </div>
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Still, the government wouldn't listen.</div>
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One of those nights, I got arrested. I was getting out of the National Library with my laptop in bag and I decided to join the nightly protest. The city had just passed a law dictating that any protest that was not sanctioned by the police would be deemed illegal. This is why, as soon as we started, the anti-riot squad started charging, hitting, pepper-spraying, throwing gas bombs and arresting. Three police officers charged into me so hard that my bicycle helmet cracked. My hands were tie-wrapped and I was moved in a truck with other arrestees. When I got there, I got mug shots taken. I removed all of my laces (hoodie and shoes) and signed a paper with all the items they were keeping during my detention. We were four in our cell. There was a toilet with no toilet paper. A guard would not even provide a sanitary napkin for a girl on her period. As time passed, the women who came in were more bruised and beaten up. I was scared.</div>
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More than 400 people got arrested that night. Some had to spend more than 8 hours in public buses because all holding cells were full. My parents got a call from me from the detention center where I spent the night. When they heard my voice, they said: "We saw what happened in tv. You got arrested didn't you?" I was lucky to not have been fined because I remembered the phone number of a pro bono lawyer. Others were not as lucky. </div>
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Then came the pots and pans movement! Every evening students and families came out with their ladle and pot. They banged them through the streets of their neighbourhoods as another way to make their voices heard. This was inspired by the pots and pans movement in Chile.</div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">It came to a point where the government had to do something. Because of all our actions, the province was in turmoil. Day after day, students were getting their voices heard. Opposing political parties rallied with us. </span></div>
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<b>Finally, <span style="font-size: medium;">th</span></b><span style="font-size: medium; font-weight: bold;">e government did cede. The political party was not reelected. The former Premier resigned from politics but most of all tuition froze.</span></div>
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We never gave up. We kept going fighting for our rights and beliefs. Yes, it was hard. Yes, it might have been scary. All this was done for future generations. I wanted my children to have access to College education. </div>
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That’s why I did it. That’s why we all did it. For our future. </div>
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I was inspired to write this post because of the students of the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School. You are rallying people from all walks of life to finally change gun regulation in the US. </div>
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When we were fighting against the tuition hike, we were told we were young, idealistic and didn't really know about the real world. </div>
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No one can say that you know nothing of the real world. Sadly, you experienced it first hand. </div>
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You are a true inspiration. Keep fighting the fight. Keep informing others and, most of all, never back down. </div>
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Everyday, every moment possible make your voices heard. Don’t let this be another “fleeting movement”, another media sensation. Because lives are affected and things need to change.</div>
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I encourage you to inform your political leaders about your stance on necessary gun control. </div>
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I also encourage you to join the March for our Lives on March 24th. Bring your friends and families, it's time to make a change. </div>
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<a href="https://marchforourlives.com/">https://marchforourlives.com/</a></div>
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For your eyes, a glimpse of the 2012 student protest.</div>
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Catherinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13273770236305788786noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456425310213706586.post-5650271279511663322018-02-22T10:39:00.000-05:002019-04-28T09:15:23.890-04:00School and Insecurity<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1-Br8592BtU/Wo7j-agA3tI/AAAAAAAAAvo/19lfcEJlC2Ylxb5uCP849Kb3WCldTVFwQCLcBGAs/s1600/red-school-blur-factory.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" id="id_9e94_f793_6ede_37bb" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1-Br8592BtU/Wo7j-agA3tI/AAAAAAAAAvo/19lfcEJlC2Ylxb5uCP849Kb3WCldTVFwQCLcBGAs/s1600/red-school-blur-factory.jpg" style="height: auto; width: 1600px;" /></a></div>
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I thought I could finish my degree in time. I won’t be able to. It's not because I skipped school for the fun of it. I wasn't in class because every morning I woke up defeated. I just did not want to go. Imagine waking up early and telling yourself: "ugh, not today" then imagine that feeling tenthfold.<br />
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<b>I was clearly starting to be depressed.</b><br />
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I tried to justify myself when it came to the classes I missed. There’s a rule at my college that you must attend 80% of your classes or it is an automatic fail. I frequently told myself, I can miss because I haven’t reached the limit.</div>
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In one class I missed assignments because they were only worth 2% or 3%. Not a big deal. Turns out it was. My final portfolio was entirely based on those assignments and without them I would fail. I eventually got a doctor’s note for all my missed classes. It didn’t and couldn’t make a difference in one class because of that portfolio. </div>
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I tried to explain to my teacher that I had a note but there was nothing she could do. I needed those in-class assignments...</div>
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Now, I have to stay an extra year. Because of one class.<br />
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I admit, when I had to retake it, I was devastated. I’m already 10 years older than my cohort and now I have to work with even younger students?! Cliques had been established and I felt lonely. I was lucky to find some friends.</div>
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That was last semester. This semester is the hardest because half of my classes are with my friends the other ones are with the younger cohort.</div>
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<b>What hurts the most right now is that my friends will all be graduating this semester. </b></div>
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At the beginning of classes, I was all over the place. I came home crying feeling alone. I didn't feel included with the other cohort. I even thought the girls I met from last semester didn't want to be with me. </div>
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My best friends outside of school said to talk with said girls. It turns out they were just happy to reunite with their friends and didn't notice how I felt. Nothing was done maliciously.</div>
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Everyone has their own path. You may be attending college or you may believe it is not for you. We all have different aspirations and that's perfectly fine. There is not a set rule.</div>
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I mean, I'm 28 and I'm in college. I go to school with 19 year-olds. Yes, I feel old sometimes. Yes, I feel annoyed. I'm pursuing my studies for me and not to please others.</div>
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It still hurts to be held back. But I'll be ok. Two more semesters to go and then, my dream job.</div>
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All your hardships are worth it. </div>
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"Sometimes, when you lose, you win." - A Walk to Remember</div>
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Catherinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13273770236305788786noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456425310213706586.post-57138582247511391402018-02-17T17:28:00.000-05:002019-04-28T09:15:33.953-04:00Buying Books<br />
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-o6_4PiBMD_w/WoiseJ_oIEI/AAAAAAAAAuc/Awg3X1PY2EYfZVxObF9FFW8NhVQYvky_gCLcBGAs/s1600/pexels-photo-261909.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1143" data-original-width="1600" id="id_a933_cc5e_95f3_12b2" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-o6_4PiBMD_w/WoiseJ_oIEI/AAAAAAAAAuc/Awg3X1PY2EYfZVxObF9FFW8NhVQYvky_gCLcBGAs/s1600/pexels-photo-261909.jpeg" style="height: auto; width: 1600px;" /></a></div>
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My weakness is buying books.<br />
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<b>I have a serious problem.</b></div>
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For example, today I knew I needed to go to the bookstore to get one magazine for my art class. Granted, it was not necessary for me to have said magazine, since I found some clippings the other day.</div>
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<b>The grand total should have been $7. </b><br />
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<img alt="" id="id_2b9a_38dc_f8e9_dce9" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-BzNlnNy_aAw/WossMbYl6fI/AAAAAAAAAvI/j3a154HDGJEDCHzJirz-OsUSpnArAViNACHMYCw/s5000/%255BUNSET%255D" style="height: auto; width: 353px;" title="" tooltip="" /><br />
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Instead, I head towards my Kryptonite: “The. Bargain. Section.” Most books are <b>$6</b>. Not bad, eh? I found a really cute chic-lit book, got it approved by Goodreads and it was a go! Until... I decided to peruse the shelves once more. I found a book about a half-Japanese half-American girl who is placed in the Mazanar camp. Fascinating<b>. </b>Also, <b>$6</b>. I don’t think I made the correlation that two books at <b>$6</b> make <b>$12</b>. I thought it was all a bargain. </div>
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<b>It did not end there.</b></div>
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I remembered that I had yet to buy a calendar so... I got one. But, it was <b>50% off</b>! Such a deal. </div>
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And I remembered, after all that <b>the magazine</b>!!! How could I forget. I add to my basket a beautiful magazine for the <strike>modest</strike> sum of <b>$7</b>. </div>
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<b>Oops.</b></div>
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Got to the cash. The cashier lets me know that one of my books is at a dollar! YAY, what a bargain! I knew with all my heart that my grand total would come to <b>$20</b>. Sadly, not the case. A whole whopping <b>$30</b>... </div>
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And... I do what I know best. I get rid of the essentials. In this case... the magazine.</div>
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<b>Perfect</b>.</div>
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Catherinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13273770236305788786noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456425310213706586.post-85971350760038894412018-02-10T16:16:00.000-05:002019-04-28T09:16:03.303-04:00Liebster Award 2018 Nomination!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3e_lc3luXmY/Wn9XuNx8BPI/AAAAAAAAAqQ/bkSeQAI2F-oSX3W4nubJfs76_eyFKmsaQCLcBGAs/s1600/More-Flowers.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="809" data-original-width="1251" id="id_2c43_84f1_5e8d_4d13" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3e_lc3luXmY/Wn9XuNx8BPI/AAAAAAAAAqQ/bkSeQAI2F-oSX3W4nubJfs76_eyFKmsaQCLcBGAs/s1600/More-Flowers.png" style="height: auto; width: 1251px;" /></a></div>
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I can't believe that I got nominated for the Liebster Award!</div>
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I mean, I only started blogging a little more than a month ago. Blogging is one of the best decisions I've ever made.<br />
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I discovered a platform where I could write about my thoughts and express myself to, well, the world.<br />
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I've met incredible people through blogging. The blogger community is caring and supportive of each other.</div>
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This made me realize that I don't need to be afraid of taking risks. Yes, I do get personal on my blog. Yes, my posts are eclectic. And, yes, I am still growing.</div>
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I'm growing to find out what kind of blogger I want to be.</div>
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Being nominated for the Liebster Award shows me that I'm on the right path. It shows me that writing for myself is 100% okay.</div>
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I was nominated by the lovely Neha. Her blog is a travelling blog at <a href="https://nomadicdreamz.com/" target="_blank">Nomadic Dreamz</a>. It's incredible all the places she's been to. I can only hope she comes to Canada and blogs about it! *wink* I love her travelling solo posts. I've always wanted to travel on my own but never had the opportunity or the courage to.</div>
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Thank you again, <a href="http://nomadicdreamz.com/" target="_blank">Neha</a>!</div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255 , 255 , 255 , 0); border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-style: italic; line-height: 1; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><strong style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">Rules for the Liebster Award 2018:</strong></span></div>
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<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 28.9px; margin: 0.5em 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Thank the blogger that nominated you, and link back to their blog (dofollow link, not nofollow).</span></li>
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 28.9px; margin: 0px 0px 0.5em; padding: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Pay it forward by nominating in turn 5-10 new bloggers that you appreciate. Of course, leave a message or comment for them to know they’ve been nominated!</span></li>
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 28.9px; margin: 0px 0px 0.5em; padding: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Answer the questions given to you, and write some of your own for your nominees to answer.</span></li>
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 28.9px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Link your Liebster Award 2018 post to <a href="https://theglobalaussie.com/liebster-award-2018/" style="border-bottom-color: rgba(0 , 0 , 0 , 0.2); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; box-sizing: border-box; outline: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.1s ease-in-out;">this post</a> link by the Global Aussie, and leave your blog post link in the comments section of this same post.</span></li>
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2Vsg2a9gURA/Wn9YDc4qFOI/AAAAAAAAAqU/ZdeyNiofdi8VHddXUevTnIq9G2Et39hfwCLcBGAs/s1600/More-Flowers-2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="835" data-original-width="1272" id="id_6d6_1f6c_c14d_85b5" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2Vsg2a9gURA/Wn9YDc4qFOI/AAAAAAAAAqU/ZdeyNiofdi8VHddXUevTnIq9G2Et39hfwCLcBGAs/s1600/More-Flowers-2.png" style="height: auto; width: 1272px;" /></a></div>
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<b><i>Neha's questions for me were:</i></b></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">1. If a new Superhero were to be created with you as inspiration, what would he/she be called and what would his/her superpower be?</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">My name would be SuperCat! I am a stereotypical cat lady. Luna, my cat, is my baby. When I was off at University, one of my highlights was going back home to my cat. Yes, my cat. Not my mom, not my dad...my cat. She’s just so fluffy and ahhh. You can see her on my </span><a href="https://draft.blogger.com/instagram.com/workingwithbipolar" id="id_be3_4d22_2a51_39bb" target="_blank">Insta</a>. <span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">My nickname is Cath. So you see, it is fitting to be named Cat. As for Super, well who wouldn’t want to be Super. My superpower would be to take sadness away from others by simply looking at them.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">2. What made you start blogging, and what kept you going?</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Blogging was something I’ve wanted to try for a while. I started blogging because I wanted to share my story about how I came to be diagnosed as bipolar. I thought if I shared my story others would feel less alone. What keeps me going is that blogging is a alternative to mindlessly wasting my time on my phone. I keep going because: “I love it!”</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">3. If you could get a wish today, what would you ask for? <span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-style: italic; line-height: 1; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">This isn’t Ms. Universe so it’s fine if you don’t pick world peace 🙂 </span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">I would wish to be fluent in Japanese. I want to be able to have meaningful conversations with my grandfather, before he leaves us.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">4. Imagine your Twitter account as a person. Now, describe him/her using one sentence.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">She is quirky and a little bit sassy! </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">5. If you weren’t a blogger, what would you be?</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Ahhh. See, I’m studying to become it and can’t talk about the job because of confidentiality. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">6. Describe yourself using only words that start with the first letter of your name!</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Caring, Careful, Charming, Calculate</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">7. If x is the average (arithmetic mean) of m and 9, y is the average of 2m and 15, and z is the average of 3m and 18, what is the average of x, y, and z in terms of m?</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Oh, Neha. You make me laugh! I was never good in math...</span></div>
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Rpsjpjlr0KU/Wn9YfuAAMtI/AAAAAAAAAqg/0XjzsR03dq0PgNffijS4wa6yCqAyKHQHACLcBGAs/s1600/Flower-4.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="877" data-original-width="940" height="597" id="id_a821_887_7db6_2a3c" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Rpsjpjlr0KU/Wn9YfuAAMtI/AAAAAAAAAqg/0XjzsR03dq0PgNffijS4wa6yCqAyKHQHACLcBGAs/s640/Flower-4.png" style="height: auto; width: 640px;" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">And my nominees for the Liebster Award are:</span></div>
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Karlena at <a href="http://karlenaclifford.co.uk/">karlenaclifford.co.uk</a></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Ann-Marie at <a href="http://aannmariedoeslife.com/">aannmariedoeslife.com</a></span></div>
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Kaiesha at <a href="http://kaieshastewart.com/">kaieshastewart.com</a></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Suhrell at <a href="http://www.suhrell.com/">www.suhrell.com</a></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Laura Monae at <a href="http://thislaughingheart.blogspot.com/">thislaughingheart.blogspot.com</a></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">I have nominated you for this award because I believe you make a positive impact in the blogging community. Your blogs are inspiring reads! </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">My questions for you are:</span></div>
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1. The classic: you’re on a desert island and you can only bring three objects. What do you choose and why?</div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">3. If you had all the money in the world, what would you buy/do and why? (Be honest!)</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">4. Who would you most like to meet living or dead?</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">5. If you could relive a moment in history, what would it be?</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">6. What is your favourite childhood dish?</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">and...</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">7. Why did you start blogging?</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">I hope you enjoy answering my questions! I look forward to reading your answers and to get to know you better! Please leave your Liebster blog link in this post’s comments. Remember to read the rules and have fun!</span></div>
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Catherinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13273770236305788786noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456425310213706586.post-77786987034167755892018-02-06T07:54:00.001-05:002019-04-28T09:16:19.149-04:00Unplug<div>
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-S9BnQlkhM9M/WnmlcpaQbFI/AAAAAAAAApg/9fMe3dxELeInl150M6WYu6Sv7dfiG5v9gCLcBGAs/s1600/pexels-photo-196655.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1068" data-original-width="1600" id="id_fd3_a8fa_7813_d77a" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-S9BnQlkhM9M/WnmlcpaQbFI/AAAAAAAAApg/9fMe3dxELeInl150M6WYu6Sv7dfiG5v9gCLcBGAs/s1600/pexels-photo-196655.jpeg" style="height: auto; width: 1600px;" /></a></div>
<br />
I remember the first time I got my hands on a computer. I must have been 8 years old. It was the first generation of Mac computers. Yes, I’m that old… </div>
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<br /></div>
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I was obsessed with that computer. There weren’t many programs. My dad had installed Rosetta Stone as well as an automated reading program for children. I started to learn Spanish by furiously clicking on the images. I would run from school for lunch break to type up my fairytales. I liked typing and hearing the stories retold to me.My father saw my interest and got me a video editing program with cartoon characters.<br />
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All this contributed to my obsession with technology.<br />
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Then, came MSN Messenger. I could now chat hours on end with my friends about everything and just absolutely nothing. I became addicted to it. I had found a way to connect with my school friends without being too awkward. </div>
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Facebook was also a revolution. For a person, who didn’t have many friends at school, Facebook was a blessing. I could catch up with my friends from around the world, friends I met at youth workshops. </div>
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Then came Twitter. I remember using twitter as a platform during the 2012 student strike in Quebec. Discussions were heated and instantaneous.</div>
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Instagram and Snapchat were added to the list.</div>
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All this at the tips of my fingers.</div>
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-beVLq1SQuMk/Wnmjhc7YDAI/AAAAAAAAApU/2RKrL-WkL2ULlRHwdxPjEFVqTxLB4mV3ACLcBGAs/s1600/34930370766_d5daf433b5_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" id="id_a0b1_6ee5_289_f0fa" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-beVLq1SQuMk/Wnmjhc7YDAI/AAAAAAAAApU/2RKrL-WkL2ULlRHwdxPjEFVqTxLB4mV3ACLcBGAs/s1600/34930370766_d5daf433b5_o.jpg" style="height: auto; width: 1600px;" /></a></div>
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Now, I can’t help feeling bombarded by information. I feel overwhelmed. Let’s just say, <b>I am addicted to technology. </b></div>
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It’s gotten pretty bad.</div>
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I used to read every night before going to bed. I don’t anymore. I get sucked into using my phone. I watch meaningless things. I mean, how many cat videos can I watch in a night. I sleep less. I arrive at school tired because I just had to play with my phone.</div>
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<b>I’m basically wasting my time.</b></div>
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I need technology. I need to stay connected with others. I need Facebook to do group work. I need it. I need it. I need it. I need Snapchat to stay in the loop. I need it to feel a part of the “squad”. I need my two Instagram accounts: a personal one and one for my blog. I need it. I need it. I need it. I need Twitter to share all my thoughts even the ones I should probably keep to myself. <b>I NEED SOCIAL MEDIA. </b></div>
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Is this healthy? I suppose not. </div>
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How do I get out of this vicious cycle? I have a few ideas and I’ll share them in a future post.</div>
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Like they say: “The first step is acknowledging what you’re doing that’s wrong.”</div>
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Catherinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13273770236305788786noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456425310213706586.post-45473544880048911022018-01-24T09:00:00.000-05:002019-04-28T09:16:46.348-04:00Shame VS Guilt<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_e-5s6bxn2I/WmfzbK3T1kI/AAAAAAAAAlM/K8XQgl-oKdU9JAZTX97-0k84PkcoOJ1vwCLcBGAs/s1600/9433240014_49f2ca89f3_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="575" data-original-width="1024" id="id_ce28_9c01_aec1_cf26" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_e-5s6bxn2I/WmfzbK3T1kI/AAAAAAAAAlM/K8XQgl-oKdU9JAZTX97-0k84PkcoOJ1vwCLcBGAs/s1600/9433240014_49f2ca89f3_o.jpg" style="height: auto; width: 1024px;" /></a></div>
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<br />
What is shame? What is guilt? Are these words synonymous? For a long time, I thought they were. I would interchange the terms in my everyday conversations.<br />
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Turns out they don't mean the same thing.<br />
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If we take a look at the dictionary. We can find that:<br />
<i><br /></i> <span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><a href="https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/shame" target="_blank">Shame</a> <span class="mw_t_bc" style="background-color: white; color: #3b3e41; letter-spacing: 0.64px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">is </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #3b3e41; letter-spacing: 0.64px;">a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety.</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="background-color: white; color: #3b3e41; letter-spacing: 0.64px;"><br /></span></i></span> <span style="color: #3b3e41;"><span style="background-color: white; font-variant-ligatures: no-common-ligatures; letter-spacing: 0.64px;">and</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #3b3e41;"><span style="background-color: white; font-variant-ligatures: no-common-ligatures; letter-spacing: 0.64px;"><br /></span></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #3b3e41; letter-spacing: 0.64px;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/guilt" target="_blank">Guilt</a> a feeling of deserving blame for offences.</span></i></span><br />
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What does this mean?</div>
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<br /></div>
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Shame happens when you feel the need to hide from others. Most of the time, you can't forgive yourself. You may also feel the need to find a community that doesn't know your past. You probably want to keep up appearances. </div>
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Guilt is a personal phenomenon. You understand that what you did was bad. However, you can still fix it. In order to stop feeling guilty, you need to face your problems. </div>
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In shorter terms,</div>
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Shame: "I am bad."</div>
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Guilt: "What I did was bad."</div>
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If you hurt someone's heart, you are attacking them through shame. And, I think that is the worst.</div>
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Is it okay to start anew where nobody knows you? Yes, it is. I've done that myself. During a manic episode, I did some pretty strange things at my previous University. I decided I wanted to go somewhere where no one knew my past because I couldn't get over what I did.</div>
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I couldn't own up to it. It's sad because I was studying at a University and a program that I absolutely loved. I'm almost finished my degree at the College I'm currently attending. I've forgiven myself. I no longer feel guilt and I know that, when the chance arises, I will go back and pursue my dreams.</div>
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Everyone makes mistakes. They are at times intentional and at other times unintentional. Whatever they may be, you have the power to let go of guilt. </div>
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How can you let go guilt?</div>
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1. Forgive yourself.</div>
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2. Apologize to those you hurt.</div>
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If you've hurt someone and apologize they will either:</div>
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A. Thank you and forgive you.</div>
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B. Ignore you.</div>
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You don't need anyone in your life who chooses to be indifferent to you. It's cliché but they don't know what they are missing.<br />
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Don't let shame stop you from living your life. </div>
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Shame and guilt are two different things. It's up to you to choose what to make of them.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">References</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Haines, W. <i>Reading life through the Principle: Healing relationships. </i></span></div>
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Catherinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13273770236305788786noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456425310213706586.post-61315223783262349652018-01-16T21:01:00.000-05:002019-04-28T09:17:52.100-04:00Sunshine Blogger Award!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0CL5lFGNsfQ/Wl6s3MxZ20I/AAAAAAAAAhM/dVJqASinTrEPsY5LUZzi835kghHbi5YdgCLcBGAs/s1600/pexels-photo-103127.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="834" data-original-width="1600" id="id_2fc3_ef94_9fe_64f8" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0CL5lFGNsfQ/Wl6s3MxZ20I/AAAAAAAAAhM/dVJqASinTrEPsY5LUZzi835kghHbi5YdgCLcBGAs/s1600/pexels-photo-103127.jpeg" style="height: auto; width: 1600px;" /></a></div>
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I was graciously nominated for the Sunshine Blogger Award by <b>Chelsea</b> at <a href="https://simplesillyandsoulful.com/" target="_blank">Simply, Silly and Soulful</a>. Check out her blog! You won't be disappointed. Through her posts, you can feel how honest and loving she is.<br />
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<div style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 24px;">
<strong><span style="font-family: inherit;">The Sunshine Blogger award is given by bloggers to bloggers that inspire creativity and positivity!</span></strong></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 24px;">
<strong><span style="font-family: inherit;">The Sunshine Blogger Award rules are as follow:</span></strong></div>
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<ol>
<li>Thank blogger(s) who nominated you in<span style="font-family: inherit;"> the blog post and link back to their blog.</span></li>
<li>Answer the 11 questions the blogger asked you.</li>
<li>Nominate 11 new blogs to receive the award and write them 11 new questions.</li>
<li>List the rules and display the Sunshine Blogger Award logo in your post and/or on your blog.</li>
</ol>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "crimson text" , serif; font-size: 16px;"></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "crimson text" , serif; font-size: 16px;"><b>Here are the questions I received as a nominee!</b></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "crimson text" , serif; font-size: 16px;"> </span><br />
<ul>
<li>What is your most favourite<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "crimson text" , serif; font-size: 16px;"> thing to do to pass time?</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "crimson text" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">Currently, I'm enjoying taking pictures and editing them for my Instagram. I love reading as well and am trying out the #theunreadshelfproject2018. I have so many books and as you may know, I keep on buying more. It doesn't help that I work next to a major bookstore.</span></span></li>
</ul>
<li>Who is your hero and why?</li>
<ul>
<li>My father is my hero. He is diagnosed with bipolar as well. I've seen him struggle in the past but that did not stop him from keeping our family together. He amazes me the way he does everything from taking care of the family to paperwork to handling a stressful job.</li>
</ul>
<li>Why do you blog and how long have you been writing?</li>
<ul>
<li>I have wanted to start a blog for a while. I like to write and read, so I thought why not? I like the idea of sharing my thoughts with the world. I wanted to create a platform for others to understand what it meant to live with a mental disorder and how life can be fun anyways! I started blogging right before Christmas!</li>
</ul>
<li>What inspires you?</li>
<ul>
<li>Pretty cheesy, but God inspires me. In the hardest times, I feel so much love emanating from him. Acoustic renditions of popularized songs and instrumentals inspire me when I work. </li>
</ul>
<li>What makes you laugh?</li>
<ul>
<li>All the memes my friend sends me. I don't know how she knows what will make me laugh in hysterics. </li>
</ul>
<li>Who is your favourite<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "crimson text" , serif; font-size: 16px;"> blogger and why?</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "crimson text" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">This is a hard one! But my favourite blogger at the moment is Erin from <a href="https://coffeemeetspolished.com/" target="_blank">coffeemeetspolished</a>. Her posts are diverse and thoughtful. I learn a lot from them and she isn't afraid to tackle subjects that may be taboo. </span></span></li>
</ul>
<li>What is your favourite<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "crimson text" , serif; font-size: 16px;"> movie?</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "crimson text" , serif; font-size: 16px;">My favourite movie is Trolls! It's the happiest movie I've ever seen. Seriously, after the first time, I saw it (yes, there have been multiple), I was on such a happy buzz! The songs are great, it's visually stunning! Not your typical animation movie, I must say.</span></li>
</ul>
<li>What is the most challenging thing you’ve ever done?</li>
<ul>
<li> The most challenging thing I've ever done was go back to College. I dropped out a couple of times because of my mental illness. I did not think I could face going back with so many young people. I did, I love what I'm studying and I figured out that age is not a sign of maturity.</li>
</ul>
<li>What is your greatest fear?</li>
<ul>
<li>At the moment, my greatest fear is to not get a job after I graduate. </li>
</ul>
<li>List 5 things you’re most grateful for and why.</li>
<ol>
<li>God. I can feel lost without His presence and I appreciate him for guiding me.</li>
<li>My family. They have been there for me through it all.</li>
<li>My boyfriend. I never thought I would meet such a great person in my life.</li>
<li>My cat. She often makes my day and reminds me that it's okay to take it easy sometimes.</li>
<li>My heritage. I'm proud of where I come from and I never want to forget it.</li>
</ol>
<li>What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?</li>
<ul>
<li>I take my medication. I want to keep that brain functioning!</li>
</ul>
</ul>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b>My 11 nominees are...!</b></div>
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<ul>
<li><a href="https://twitter.com/alishavalerie" target="_blank">@alishavalerie</a> Website: <a href="http://www.alishavalerie.com/">http://www.alishavalerie.com/</a></li>
<li><a href="https://twitter.com/anniechanieblog" target="_blank">@AnnieChanieBlog</a> Website: <a href="http://theanniechanieblog.blogspot.ca/">http://theanniechanieblog.blogspot.ca/</a></li>
<li><a href="https://twitter.com/coffeeMpolished" target="_blank">@coffeeMpolished</a> Website: <a href="https://coffeemeetspolished.com/">https://coffeemeetspolished.com/</a></li>
<li><a href="https://twitter.com/jennymarston_xo" target="_blank">@jennymarston_xo</a> Website: <a href="https://jennyinneverland.com/">https://jennyinneverland.com/</a></li>
<li><a href="https://twitter.com/rosiebsteele/" target="_blank">@rosiebsteele</a> Website: <a href="https://ourrose.wordpress.com/">https://ourrose.wordpress.com/</a></li>
<li><a href="https://twitter.com/jennbairos" target="_blank">@jennbairos</a> Website: <a href="http://www.asplendidmessylife.com/">http://www.asplendidmessylife.com/</a></li>
<li><a href="https://twitter.com/PaeReviews" target="_blank">@PaeReviews</a> Website: <a href="http://paereviews.com/">http://paereviews.com/</a></li>
<li><a href="https://twitter.com/Brooklyn_0391" target="_blank">@Brooklyn_0391</a> Website: <a href="https://www.justbeingbrooklyn.com/">https://www.justbeingbrooklyn.com/</a></li>
<li><a href="https://twitter.com/gracekellyish" target="_blank">@gracekellyish</a> Website: <a href="http://lacesandtiaras.blogspot.ca/">http://lacesandtiaras.blogspot.ca/</a></li>
<li><a href="https://twitter.com/eleaanormay" target="_blank">@eleaanormay</a>Website: <a href="http://www.eleaanormay.com/">http://www.eleaanormay.com/</a></li>
<li><a href="https://twitter.com/PlottingerTwist" target="_blank">@PlottingerTwist</a> Website: <a href="http://plottingertwist.blogspot.ca/">http://plottingertwist.blogspot.ca/</a></li>
</ul>
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Thank you again, <a href="https://simplesillyandsoulful.com/" target="_blank">Chelsea</a>, for nominating me!</div>
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<b>My 11 questions to you are...!</b></div>
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1. What are some songs you have on repeat?</div>
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2. What do you do when you feel down in the dumps?</div>
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3. What can you not live without?</div>
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4. Who is your hero?</div>
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5. What is a book you would read over and over again?</div>
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6. What do you aspire to do in the future?</div>
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7. What do you do on your down time?</div>
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8. How do you stay focused?</div>
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9. How do you stay organized?</div>
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10. What are you passionate about?</div>
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11. If you could meet one person, living or dead, who would it be?</div>
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Looking forward to reading your answers!</div>
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Catherinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13273770236305788786noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6456425310213706586.post-58664036760331551872018-01-08T22:27:00.001-05:002019-04-26T13:57:12.277-04:00[2018]<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DMdQ2NfOnsE/WlQ1cYJqErI/AAAAAAAAAXs/YkSRDuLUwREfpTp2CBLyo-B094OeGV33QCLcBGAs/s1600/pexels-photo-285173.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DMdQ2NfOnsE/WlQ1cYJqErI/AAAAAAAAAXs/YkSRDuLUwREfpTp2CBLyo-B094OeGV33QCLcBGAs/s1600/pexels-photo-285173.jpeg" id="id_d01d_223_5fba_5acc" style="width: 1600px; height: auto;"></a></div>
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2018 is the year I jumped into blogging. It's something I've wanted to do for a long time but never had the courage to. I guess I've always wanted to find a platform where I could express my thoughts, my feelings and just talk about what I went through as someone who lives with Bipolar Disorder. Part of me is afraid my friends will find out about this blog. Once they know my past, will they still see me as me? It's terrifying to tell you the truth.<br>
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I never really wrote down resolutions or "goals" for the New Year. It might be because I usually don't stick to them or feel overwhelmed by the grandness of them. I believe I can do it all and set myself with some pretty unrealistic goals. I hope writing them down here will hold me more accountable.<br>
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Here are my goals for the year 2018.<br>
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HEALTH AND WELLBEING</div>
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I want to eat better. Start swimming and working out again. I want to be lenient with myself and not abandon everything at the first obstacle (which has been the case recently...).<br>
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-nEBkw7H6RBY/WlQ1BCObytI/AAAAAAAAAXk/Tt_WNxy9XCE0ND_noMa9eHqPfUmbqZ4PACLcBGAs/s1600/pexels-photo-206409.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1065" data-original-width="1600" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-nEBkw7H6RBY/WlQ1BCObytI/AAAAAAAAAXk/Tt_WNxy9XCE0ND_noMa9eHqPfUmbqZ4PACLcBGAs/s1600/pexels-photo-206409.jpeg" id="id_33c3_ff5b_7edf_23c0" style="width: 1600px; height: auto;"></a></div>
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FRIENDS AND LOVED ONES</div>
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I want to keep in touch with my friends and participate in a monthly activity. I want to continue to develop long-lasting relationships. I want to learn more about my boyfriend and continue to grow in my relationship with him.</div>
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SCHOOL AND WORK</div>
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I want to do my work in advance, just as I did last semester. I want to reread my notes every day (this will be a hard one). I started working as a tutor last year. I want to have a direction for my French classes. I want to learn how to better assess my students' needs and apply proper teaching methods to develop their French.<br>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BDxQHsEcJro/WlQ1XVnCr9I/AAAAAAAAAXo/r2Yrcbm8YaIjvLGJmsMZc__O8knr44nxQCLcBGAs/s1600/pexels-photo-45717.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1000" data-original-width="1600" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BDxQHsEcJro/WlQ1XVnCr9I/AAAAAAAAAXo/r2Yrcbm8YaIjvLGJmsMZc__O8knr44nxQCLcBGAs/s1600/pexels-photo-45717.jpeg" id="id_8e92_11ab_64b3_ea75" style="width: 1600px; height: auto;"></a></div>
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BOOKS</div>
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I want to read 12 books this year, averaging 1 per month. I would like to write 10 book reviews (including 5 books geared towards children). </div>
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UNPLUG</div>
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This year, I want to stop using my phone 2 hours before my bedtime. I want to get into the habit of reading a book before bed. When I'm out with friends, I want to keep my phone in my purse/bag unless I'm waiting for an important phone call. I want to spend more meaningful quality time with my boyfriend without my phone by my side. We don't see each other often and I realize how disrespectful I come across when I'm glued to my phone.<br>
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SLEEP</div>
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This year I want to aim for AT LEAST 6 hours of sleep per night. I waste my time on my phone and I don't see the time fly by. Too many times have I slept for 3 hours because I was on my phone. Sleeping is crucial for my wellbeing and performing well in school and at work.<br>
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BLOG</div>
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I want to blog at least once a week. I will aim to write three posts. I want to value quality over quantity. At the start of this blog, I was a bit "poule sans tête" (chicken without a head). I was very excited to get all my thoughts out that they just became a mish-mash of posts. I want to write with more clarity. I want my posts to be better organized and have an aesthetic aspect to it. I want to document my ventures and add more photos to my posts. I'll be able to revisit fond memories this way. I want to diversify my posts. I want to write more about my past and how I overcame it. In a sentence, I want to make this blog completely mine.<br>
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Here's to a new year!<br><div style="text-align: left;"><br></div>
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<br>Catherinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13273770236305788786noreply@blogger.com0